Endurance

When I started to get serious about working out and getting into shape I thought I’d hire a trainer to help me. I never was very disciplined or motivated to work out so I figured if I paid someone to train me I’d have no choice but to do it and he could help motivate me to get stronger. I remember when he first started training me he talked about how I needed to improve my endurance. I could lift the heavy weights but I would give out quickly. I had some natural strength but not a lot of endurance. Gradually over time my endurance improved and I could tell a difference. The weights were getting easier to lift; I wouldn’t get tired as quickly. My endurance was improving and I was getting stronger.

My faith has been much like this. The challenge for me though is I didn’t have a trainer or someone who could coach me on how to improve my faith and how to endure through tough situations in life. I was acting like a believer in Jesus, going through the motions like a Christian, but I did not have much endurance toward overcoming my sin. I would always think I could handle it on my own and stop the sin and I didn’t need to rely on Jesus to help me endure and stop the sin. This ultimately left me suffering through a lot of pain, anguish, guilt, humility, loss, and feeling like I was not good enough. Through this suffering the Lord has been slowly revealing Himself to me and the love He has for me. It’s not been a switch that has flipped but a gradual rebuilding of my faith and endurance to fight sin. The pain I have felt is being emptied out and I’m being filled up with Jesus love. The challenge for me getting past the pain was made clear to me by a friend recently. He said you don’t just stop eating and expect not to ever be hungry again. That was exactly how I had been feeling and it helped me realize that it wasn’t going to be a switch I just flip and the feelings would change. But gradually as I have emptied out my sin and filled up with Christ love I’ve begun to be able to endure through those times that I think back on my sin. As I have built up my endurance toward the sin I have begun to feel true repentance for my sin. No longer feeling like I wish I hadn’t been caught up in the sin but actually feeling guilt and shame for the sin.

As this endurance builds I have begun to feel stronger in my faith and slowly the pain is turning to joy. The apostle Paul writes “…we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been give to us.” (Romans 5:3-5) Am I fixed? By no means! I am a sinner and always will be. But as I pour more of myself out and fill back up with the Holy Spirit I build up more endurance and hope that I will be made righteous. I must continue to work out my faith muscles through reading scripture, confessing my sins, being obedient to His will, and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to me everyday. But the joy in all this is there is a living hope in Jesus Christ. He forgives us for our sins and washes us clean to live a new life. A joyful life with Him where everything we desire is in Him. We are completely satisfied with all that he gives and has given and we can be joyful and endure through our life knowing that there awaits for us an eternal kingdom where Jesus reigns and we will live with Him forever.